BeTogether Approach
created by Nicole Ohebshalom, PhD
The BeTogether Approach is the clinical framework we use at Ohebshalom & Co. Therapy to understand disconnection and guide reconnection across your entire life.
It's built on a simple truth: your life isn't made of isolated problems. It's an interconnected system.
When one part of you suffers, it can make many other parts of your life suffer. When one area reconnects, everything else has room to shift.
Most therapy focuses on fixing what's "wrong." The BeTogether Approach asks a different question: Where have you become disconnected—from your body, from yourself, from others, from desire, from meaning—and how do we restore that connection? For example, we are changing the script to integration over optimization: Shifting from “how do I perform more with less pain?” to “how do I live and lead in a way where my ambition and my humanity can exist together?”
The Six Dimensions of Wellbeing
The BeTogether Approach starts from a simple premise: your life is an ecosystem. When one part is overused and another is neglected, the whole system eventually shows the strain. Many people invest heavily in work, thinking, and responsibility, while other forms of wellbeing quietly slide into the background.
We assess and work across six interconnected dimensions of your life:
Physical Wellbeing is your foundation: sleep, movement, rest, and how you care for your body. It is easy to treat your body like a machine that should keep going as long as you “manage” it, until it clearly can’t
Emotional Wellbeing is your ability to notice, name, and move through your feelings instead of pushing them aside, numbing out, or turning them into more work. Many people can talk about emotions clearly but struggle to actually feel them with any safety.
Relational Wellbeing reflects the quality of your closest connections. From the outside, relationships may look fine; on the inside, you might feel lonely, unseen, or like you are always the one holding everything together
Intellectual Wellbeing is your curiosity, creativity, and engagement with ideas. This is often the most developed area: reading, analyzing, problem-solving, staying “in your head.” The challenge is that thinking can become a way to avoid what you feel.
Sexual Wellbeing is about aliveness, desire, and a sense of comfort and authenticity in your sexual self—alone or with a partner. It is often one of the first places where stress, resentment, or emotional distance quietly show up.
Spiritual Wellbeing speaks to meaning and purpose: the sense that your life aligns with what actually matters to you, whether or not you use spiritual or religious language. This is where people often notice a quiet “Is this it?” after reaching big milestones.
In BeTogether, these six dimensions are not separate boxes to check. They are interconnected signals from one living system, and real change means understanding how they influence and reinforce each othe
The Five Levels of Connection
If the six dimensions describe what makes up a full life, the five levels of connection describe how your experience holds together. The BeTogether Approach sees most suffering not as proof that something is wrong with you, but as a sign that connection has gone offline in specific places. Within each dimension, we work at five different levels of connection:
1. Somatic Connection is your relationship with your body and nervous system: noticing sensation, recognizing when you are stressed or shut down, and trusting those signals instead of overriding them. Many people live from the neck up until tension, burnout, or health issues demand attention.
2. Internal Connection is the relationship between your different inner “voices”—the part that pushes, the part that criticizes, the part that wants rest, the part that is afraid. Rather than seeing these as flaws, BeTogether helps them work together instead of against each other.
3. Relational Connection is your ability to give and receive emotional signals with others: to share what is real, ask for help, and feel safe being known. When this is strained, you may look dependable to everyone and still feel deeply alone
4. Sexual Connection is where presence, vulnerability, and pleasure meet. It often reveals patterns you cannot see clearly elsewhere—such as performing rather than feeling, shutting down instead of reaching out, or staying guarded even with someone you trust.
5. Existential Connection is the alignment between how you spend your days and what you believe a good life is. It quietly asks: “Does the way I am living reflect what actually matters to me—and if not, what got in the way?”
Instead of chasing each issue separately—anxiety here, conflict there, low desire somewhere else—the BeTogether Approach looks at how all five levels interact as one integrated “system of connection.” A shift in how you relate to your body, for example, can ripple into your mood, your patience with loved ones, and your sense of direction
From Fixing to Coherence
Many people arrive with a familiar worry: “What is wrong with me?” They have tried advice, mindset tools, and sometimes earlier therapy, yet still feel tired, disconnected, or like their life no longer fits who they are. The BeTogether Approach offers a different starting point:
Not “What is broken here?” but “Where am I out of coherence with myself and my values?”
Coherence means your thoughts, feelings, body, choices, and relationships are in honest conversation with each other. It does not mean constant calm or perfect decisions; it means you are no longer endlessly pushing past your limits, silencing your feelings, or living in ways that quietly betray what matters most to you.
In practice, shifting from fixing to coherence looks like:
Treating anxiety, shutdown, irritability, or over-functioning as information, not personal failures—signals of where connection has been disrupted.
Working with your nervous system, body, and relationships—not just your thoughts—so that understanding turns into something you can actually feel and live, not just explain.
Building a life where drive and tenderness, responsibility and rest, independence and closeness can coexist, rather than being traded against one another.
The BeTogether Approach is, at its core, a systems-level way of caring for a human life. It respects your capacity to think and make sense of things, and then invites the parts of you that cannot be solved purely through analysis back into the conversation. Coherence—feeling aligned and connected—becomes the measure that makes your efforts not only successful, but sustainable.
How It Works in Practice
We start with assessment.
Through the BeTogether assessment process, we identify where disconnection has taken root. Which dimensions are depleted? Which patterns are present? Where would reconnection create the biggest ripple effect?
We create a tailored approach.
Your therapist matches evidence-based modalities to your specific pattern: EMDR for trauma held in the body, Emotionally Focused Therapy for relational wounds, IFS for internal fragmentation, Sex Therapy for intimacy reconnection. We don't use a one-size-fits-all approach—we meet you exactly where you are.
We work across the whole system.
As one dimension strengthens, we watch how it affects the others. Physical stabilization might unlock emotional access. Emotional safety might allow relational vulnerability. Relational repair might restore sexual aliveness. We're tracking the whole pattern, not just individual symptoms.
We measure what's shifting.
Over time, we reassess. Not to judge progress, but to notice what's changing. Where are you feeling more connected? Where is aliveness returning? What still needs attention?
Common Patterns We See
The Mind-Body Split
Physical and emotional wellbeing both low. You're disconnected from bodily experience and can't access feelings. Often from trauma or years of "pushing through."
The Intimacy Gap
Relational and sexual wellbeing both low. You and your partner feel distant. Sex is infrequent, mechanical, or avoided entirely. Love is still there—connection isn't.
The Achiever Pattern
Intellectual wellbeing high, everything else low. You've succeeded through cognition while neglecting body, emotions, relationships, desire, and meaning.
The Meaning Void
Emotional and spiritual wellbeing both low. Going through motions but nothing feels meaningful. Success feels hollow.
The Functional Freeze
Physical, emotional, and sexual wellbeing all critically low. Body numb, emotions shut down, sexuality offline. Often trauma-related or severe burnout.
These aren't diagnoses—they're disconnection patterns. And patterns can shift.
Who This Is For
The BeTogether Approach is designed for people who:
Look fine on the outside but feel disconnected underneath
Have tried therapy before but it stayed too surface-level
Want to understand the root of their patterns, not just manage symptoms
Are tired of treating problems in isolation when everything feels interconnected
Are ready to do real work—not looking for quick fixes or wellness fluff
Want therapy that's both emotionally attuned and intellectually rigorous
If you're a high-achieving individual or couple who's built an impressive life but lost connection along the way—this approach was designed for you.
What Makes This Different
We don't pathologize.
Nothing is wrong with you. You're not broken. You may be living out of coherence with your authentic self, and we help you find your way back.
We work with the whole person.
Not your anxiety. Not your communication problems. Not your low libido. You—all of you—as one integrated human being.
We understand high-achievers.
We know what it's like to have optimized everything except yourself. To have intellectualized feelings instead of feeling them. To have sacrificed connection for achievement and wonder why success feels empty.
We blend science and humanity.
Neuroscience-informed, evidence-based, and emotionally attuned. We bring theoretical precision to lived human experience.
We believe in integration, not correction.
Healing doesn't come from fixing isolated problems. It comes from restoring the connections that allow your whole system to work together again.
Ready to Reconnect?
The BeTogether Approach isn't about becoming a different person. It's about becoming more fully yourself—integrated, coherent, and connected across every dimension of your life. If you're ready to stop managing symptoms and start addressing the whole pattern, we're here.
Schedule a consultation to learn how the BeTogether Approach can guide your path back to wholeness.
The BeTogether Approach was developed by Nicole Ohebshalom, PhD at Ohebshalom & Co. Therapy and is the clinical framework underlying all of our work with individuals and couples.
