Sexual Anorexia & Sexual Compulsion
Sexual anorexia and sexual compulsion are often discussed as opposites, yet clinically they are two expressions of the same underlying struggle: difficulty tolerating emotional closeness, desire, and vulnerability.
Sexual anorexia typically involves avoidance—of sexual contact, erotic energy, or intimacy itself. This may look like emotional withdrawal, chronic disinterest, rigid self-control, or discomfort with being wanted. Sexual compulsion, by contrast, is characterized by repetitive sexual behavior that feels driven rather than chosen. Despite appearing outwardly different, both patterns are frequently attempts to manage anxiety, shame, or unprocessed attachment injury.
Clients who experience these patterns are often highly reflective and capable, yet privately distressed by a sense of disconnection—from their bodies, from others, or from their own desire. Many have spent years trying to reason their way out of the problem, only to find that insight alone does not restore intimacy.
In therapy, we do not treat these experiences as pathologies to eliminate, nor do we rush toward behavioral change. Instead, we examine the function the pattern has served—how it developed, what it protects, and what it makes possible to avoid. When this is understood, new choices can emerge organically rather than through force or self-correction.
Our work focuses on:
Understanding the emotional and relational meaning of sexual avoidance or compulsion
Exploring attachment dynamics, boundaries, and internalized expectations around closeness
Reconnecting mind and body in a way that feels safe, gradual, and respectful
Differentiating desire from obligation, performance, or self-erasure
This work is especially well-suited for individuals who value depth, nuance, and psychological honesty—and who are not looking for quick fixes or prescriptive frameworks. The goal is not to become someone else, but to relate to intimacy with greater freedom, coherence, and choice.