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The young me was a force of nature.
Just like you.
As a child, we were constantly flirting with others from our strollers and playing in the sandbox with other kids. Connection is in our genetic coding. When I say our genetic coding, I’m referring to females. Intuition, creativity, emotions and access to pleasure are the inner-tools that make us female creatures and create community. We can hear the meaning behind words that are not spoken and pick up the emotional tones in other people’s voices. These skills allow us to relate, harmonize and support one another.
I remember when the young me would welcome each day, each person, and each experience with the full enthusiasm of my heart. There was no doubt about how I felt, what I desired or how I expressed it. I would feel whole and righteous because I felt divinity.
Once breast began to blossom and the surge of estrogen-progesterone began to vary daily and weekly, the bond for connection and sensitivity to emotional nuances became stronger. During this hormonal change, many girls begin to perceive that their thoughts and feelings did not fit in with the people around them. This is also the time when the body becomes decidedly feminine, departing from the ideal body shape of a boy: flat, slim hips, and toned stomach. To cover up their emotions and femininity, many girls begin to emotionally and compulsively eat, yo-yo diet, and some, like myself, develop disordered eating. As we want to fit in, we dim our feminine lights that were shining so bright.
Pounds were agonized over to cover-up deeper pain. I feared the essence of myself- my feminine creature. My light was replaced with self-doubt and low self-esteem. I forgot how to cry, how to move my body with creativity, feel pleasure from my senses, and how to trust the wisdom within myself.
I believe each woman has a relationship with eating that provides information on her feelings, needs, and desires. We become emotionally and spiritually hungry. The way we eat can guide us on how we feel about our femininity and our life.
Part of awakening the femininity and healing the relationship with food is to become conscious of what’s going on. When you begin to listen to yourself, it’s important to let go of self-judgment, bring compassion to yourself and become a researcher. I had to become my own science experiment. When a mixture of different formulas didn’t get the reaction I desire, I trained myself to think: “How interesting. What makes it react this way?” Each formula is one step closer to the desire you crave and long for. Your food can become your friend and co-researcher, instead of a rival.
I went to a feminine village. And was renewed.
The door is open for you.
I joined a community of women that allowed me to feel safe and supportive in expressing my authenticity, creativity and to explore my pleasures. Being part of a community of women to reflect your light while doing the same for them is not only a great amount of fun but awakens you to something bigger than yourself. This is what I see as a place for healing and celebration for women. When women come together and recognize the intrinsic wisdom in each other and allow the body to be the teacher they begin to regain trust in the wisdom of their deepest longing, emotions, and staying true to their heart.
Living from our truth and healing our eating styles also means being there for other people. As we each allow ourselves to be models then we notice alternative ways and choices about how to be a woman in this world.