mindfulness helping relationships

Your partner says something that gets your blood pressure rising and you lose your ability to think straight or listen to their point of view. Before you know it, you say something that you can’t take back. You both feel hurt and dissatisfied with the relationship.

A recent study, published in the journal Hormones and Behaviors, showed that cortisol levels usually spiked when couples engaged in conflict. But those with greater mindfulness skillsets seemed to recover more rapidly. The cortisol levels were able to return to base more quickly. Mindfulness assist with being able to emotionally regulate their response, not take things personally while simultaneously accept another’s response.

Where can you begin using mindfulness in your relationship?

Each partner can begin with tuning into themselves, specifically thoughts, emotions and body sensations during the conflict without becoming fused and identified with the emotion and thought. Instead, observe and notice the thoughts, emotions and body sensation from a distance. Through your curiosity, you will notice and name these sensations to then move towards more acceptance of your experience as part of the human condition. Then, you can gently shift back to your partners experience. You can be curious, listening to your partners concerns, fears and desires. As a unit, both of you can re-engage rather than defend or attack your partner.